everything is plain bullshit. i need someone, yes. like my brother, he always there for me, but today hes not here. and the world is raining now, so heavily just like my tears..
you know why i am being so emotional now? nobody knows. i know my soul is empty. I'm not a good muslim, thats why i feel that. so sorry if i hurt anybody.

you know what hurts the most? Standing there, watching others happy, while i am not. I hate stalking and get hurt all alone while the person dont even know this. haha. am i stupid for feeling this? i am sure you all have been in my shoes. maybe, both physical and mental are still taking place in me. i know it is a part and parcel of being adolescent. but they caused havoc in me.it can be unbearable!
maybe i think too much.
I know "love" is just a feeling, you can make it fade away, your journey is still far away, syuhada. be strong. you'll get this through. Ya Allah, thank you for always being here with me. I can do this. tonight is just a hormonal changes. nonsensical! okay i'll stop here. thank you for reading. even if i have readers.