hello. i had a holiday today. no school. we had a fight last night so i decide to absent. it is affecting everything. ugh.. okay now, i don't know why everyone is being so mean towards me, why they hate me so bad? :/ first, mom and now boyfriend. i miss him for god sake. i don't know what is going on between us. I miss him :'(

everyday was very thrilled to me. all things is beyond my control. everything annoyed me. ughhh ;/ i just can die already. it wasn't easy to pretend that nothing is going on. it is so hard to hold my ego's wall. it hurts me. a lot :(why do i have to go through all this? this is too hard.. but i am pleased with all this. God knows everything..

i miss us. i love you wholeheartedly. i'm hoping tomorrow would be nice to me. goodnight loves :(

Idle

helo bloggers! and readers. sorry the previous update was so-so-boring. i know. so todayyyyyyy, went Stadium for MGS's sports day. i was involved in perbarisan for rangers. arrived at 6.45 in the morning with Aida :D so the venue was start at 7am. the perasmian and the events semua. boring lepas kawad tuuu. Aida passed out masa the perbarisan thingy. omg she issssssss making me worried :/ was about to join the 100m run comp, but then i changed my mind. nyehehe. was so malas. panas gila babs pulak tu k. then memang happening masa penutup tu. balik with Aida again. i am now at home updating thissss. hungry as jbcejhucsbdb. K.

i just finished my novel which is "yang mana satu?" story. it was quite boring. but okay lah. it just the character in the book remind me of someone. Ryian, his characteristic sangat sama dengan Uzair. okay whatever. i just suddenly teringat. and Zarith remind me off dd. lovely boyfriend :D tehehe. siapa yang dah baca cerita tu, know who the hell i'm talking about kan? :p

but i was not pleased with the ending. macam tergantung liddat. Ryian tu kahwin ke dengan Farhana? hmm. it would be good if Indah get married dengan Ryian who is more sweet, gentle, kind, pious, much more better than Zarith! but it is impossible okay. whatever it is, Indah still bahagia dengan Zarith. hehehe :D

Aizat is getting his kidney operation today. i'm so scared. dd tell me that dia suruh bagitahu semua. hope dia tak ada apa-apa. i keep my prayers for you, Aizat. may faith be with you :)

i don't know why, I think nama "Zarith" tu kinda cute. kannnnnnn? don't you think?

hehee might date with dd or so called Zarith today. hehe. weekly date. hahah im going to the kitchen. lapar gila babs. bye!

have you had the most painful day ever? and suddenly someone from your past came back to cheer you up. someone that have broke your heart and at the same time making your life wonderful. do you ever need the person ever again? to me, i won't accept. leaving my heart into pieces and now you're being such an angel to me? never again. i used to fall over and over again. now, never again. eventhough i know this feeling and scars won't go away. but whatever, you're just my another past mistake.

was on-the-phone with boyfriend just now. suddenly he hang up saying that he got something to do. so i am forcely have to hang up. dissapointed, a bit. whatever. thank god i have my so called bestfriends to make me laugh. laugh ass out.

school was fun today. had so many events.

oookay that was it. boyfriend called back. but i lost my mood. the previous mood. he's not being himself when he's with his friend. totally not. so i decided to hang up. padan muka.

i guess i should sleep now. its 2 am already. so yeah, goodnight blogloves. i love all.

i am sick. things that i expect to be fun, stay longer has become worst in a short time. went school on Saturday for my futsal tournament. we got 4th place since the referee is being so unfair. fuck man. reached home at 1pm. my leg was so painful. i can't even walk too much. i've promise boyf to make up on him on that day, but i couldn't. its not i didn't want to meet him up. i just can't. i am sorry. i gotta help my mom. really sorry :( boyf didn't say a word about it. so we move on. things went pretty well.

today, i couldn't meet him again. sebab tak ada kenderaan nak amik dia :/ that was technical problem. its not what i plan :/ hmm. boyf is pissed. i am sorry for everything. i know i've promised you, but it was not my fault :( my leg is not getting better, it was painful. painful to the max i tell you. i cannot bend it :(

wtv. boyf is ignoring me now. i know he hates me. i bukan sengaja. sumpah. my weekend was very thrill. so much bad things happened. i won't go to school tomorrw. since this mood and legs is vsduyewqrewownjcs ugh! this is suck! i am down to the dump. my mood is beyond control. i am sorry for the curse word. bye

okay entry ni most about result. tahu kan dah habis exam? hahaha :D okay boleh dikatakan result mid term's veryy bad. VERY. okay tahu lah kan? tapi alhamdulilah no fail at all. lega :)
but still, more effort are needed. i'm invited for New South Wales University of Australia for mathmod test. ohemmgee. nervous gila. susah nya jangan cakap kay? test nya 26July. and dapat sijil. tu je yang aku nak sebenrnya, hahaha jk. okay, dekat sekolah ada futsal tournament for hari koperasi sekolah. and i decide to join it. heee takut okay! tapi tak apalah just for fun. nyehehe. Aida masuk 4K with me! awuuu. first dia dapat 4S and tetibe dah rezeki dia kan? i am batak macam tak pernah jumpa dia 13tahun. bye. hahaha :D birthday dia dah dekat ni. what to give what to give? ehmm. dia tu dah la suka benda pelik. aku pun tak berapa nak faham.
tadi deal untuk training futsal sbb our biggest enemy pun join jugak jadi competitor. so malu lah if kalah kan? hihii. tapi bila nak deal tu, semua mcm tahi anjing. okay dah cukup clear knyataan tu. sendiri ingat okay. aku punya bersemangat tak ingat dunia, but sorang sorang tak boleh. last last takpayah langsung! senang :p

next is... dd. aku gaduh dengan dia. again. again. penat k! :( semalam baru gelak sikit then gaduh. bila nak baik ni? aku sendiri tak faham kenapa. maybe sebab aku dah lama tak jumpa dia. hmm its my fault jugak kan? but bila aku plan elok je nak jumpa dia, last minute mesti tak jadi. ada je halangan. macam macam. ya allah,kenapa nii :'(
so aku sabar and terus merindui dan mencintainya sepenuh hati. ecehhh ayattt. puihh! okay tak lawak. now dd tak call. sms tadi kejap, gaduh lagi. so baik takpayah. dd tak call and msg at all now. i miss him ;( dia tak rindu aku ke? hmph ;(
okay its okay. kita dah 22 months sejak 12hb haritu. tapi... aku tak tahu kenapa sekarang we both da lain. kenapa.... hmm :'(

aku penat macam ni. aku ke yang salah? aku tak tahu. i'm not perfect. i do mistakes. so please do give and take. i am sorry for everything muhammad firdhous. i love you more. i know loving me ain't easy. hard-headed, and so on. we gotta be strong ;')

you know tonight is like pukiiiii because i didn't have my baby to turn me on. sorry for the curse. its not you. its me. goodnight. have a lovey dovey day, loves!

REAL LIFE

hello blogger! what's up? life's good? okay. actually nak cerita ni. exam kita haritu dah habis en, before cuti dpt one paper which is mathmod. kita dapat 84 tau. alhamdulilah :D hihi. takut bukak sekolah ni. cmano eh result? :(

hmm okay. masa holiday, kita tak lepak pun dgn boypren tau. last jumpa masa 27 & 28 may haritu. now dah berapa? 5 june dah tau ); almost a week. dah la masa sekolah tak dapat jumpa. dia dah sedih dah tu. bersalah la pulak :( kita dah janji 7 june ni nak jumpa dia. hopefully jadi.hehe.

pasal boypren dah habis tau? hehe. ni pasal futsal pulak. haritu dapat main dgn Aida sume. best! even penat sume dah tak kisah :p rindu Aida tahu? semua lama takjumpa. ~ nanti aida masuk sekolah dgn kita tau :D how happy i am! oh yes, homework satu pun blm buat. nasib baik cuma dapat homework Bio, Chemist, Physics, BM, English and Maths. later i'll do.

okay mak kita buat pulut kuning harini. nampak sodap yo. tak sabar ni! hihi. okay lah. tu je kot pasal this entry, kita tahu tak ada mengena dgn picture atas tu en?

ni la sbbnya. boyf dgn kita asek gaduh je. dia selalu ckp kita marah tak tentu pasal. dia ingat kita salah kan dia. mana ada okay muhammad firdaus! i love you sooooo much :*

tc readers!